I tried to avoid this as long as possible, but thank you Huffington Post for making me appreciate Mallika Sherawat

I know I can be snarky when looking at horrid make-up/styling so I tried to be nice and skip this one. It's not just the outfit, it's the make-up too that's awful (will get into that in a bit). However, the stunt catapulted her into lowlight-infamy and Mallika Sherawat earned herself a full-length post on Huffington Post. And here I was trying to avoid this post for a while.

Let me start off with a confession: I'm a snob about using proper words. People who write me emails that use lingo along the lines of 'c u tonite at da tbl fr dinner' are dead to me. Enter Mallika Sherawat, who foreshadowed her dress with this heinous violation of grammar on Twitter by saying "What shud I wear 2 the Tarantino premiere 2nite? Wud sssomething ssscandalous B appropriate?" At this point I'm willing to settle on 'scandalous' with just one 's' as serpentine drawls just feed my phobia.

The thing that jumped at me when I saw this picture was not the fact that she got invited at all, but that, of all places to sober up an outfit that can only be described as the result of mating between overstretched tentoles and a fishing net, she chose to wear gloves. It dawned to me that while she doesn't want to dress conservatively, even nuns leave their hands bare. Therefore, I can only conclude that it was not an attempt to cover up her hands out of a mistaken sense of modesty but an endeavor to make the outfit more elegant. To which I must congratulat the poor actress, who is truly the pioneer of recession chic among Indian celebrities. I certainly wouldn't have had the guts to wear my formerly goth friend's gloves from her dark period. This period was much like Picasso's blue period, only inifitely less glamorous as the gloves were borrowed from one of her niece's Disney princess outfits and dyed black (true story I swear). Bravo Mallika, bravo. You are an inspiration to us all.

And now for the make-up. First take a good look at the brows.

Our wallet-friendly muse Mallika (OWFMM for short. It's a title. She deserves it) is so trailblazing that I couldn't seem to bring myself to criticize her brows. Their severity is yet another recession-friendly ruse of OWFMM's clever use of sharpies as brow pencils has opened up a while new world of beauty savings for us all.

image sources: www.bandgalorefashionpolice.com, www.bollyadda.com


Consuela said...

Listen the make up doesn't hold a candle to the "dress". On this ocation nothing could draw away attention from the sheer eroticism of the black grandma panties ( or are those in fact part of that "dress") she decided to combine with gown. I think this will be competing with Bjork's swanlake dress ( she wore at the oscars a few decades ago ) for worst red carpet outfit ever, LOL.

11:01 AM
Anonymous said...

Guess all she needed was attention, and there she has had quite a bit of success!

8:26 AM
Kohl Girl said...

Wow, she has incredibly bad taste. Maybe she is laughing because the outfit was just a joke??!

10:12 AM
Anonymous said...

wow...really wow..fantastic grandma undies..original bushy eyebrows, pharmaceutical make up artist...and halloween dress castaway..tsk tsk tsk...she can def do better...any worse than this she's better pack her bags home...

1:24 AM
BeautyTalk said...

Is she serious?? This is low even for her!

10:41 AM
Delphine said...

The makeup doesn't really bother me much either way but the dress is outrageous!

I could see Cher wearing this twenty years ago.

8:46 AM
Karen said...

Bahahahaha! Oh it's just too too good. I am loving this blog. I discovered it just yesterday, and it is fast becoming one of my favorites. Bravo, Indian Make-up Diva, Bravo.

11:35 PM
Missy Krissy said...

Oh goodness. What a mess. This is a train wreck with her as the fatality. It makes me physically ill to look at that dress. She's so pretty. It makes the whole thing oh so tragic.

2:23 AM
Anonymous said...

She might as well have borrowed the dress Rose McGowan's wore to the 1998 MTV Music Awards. Seriously.

11:27 AM

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