Dear Celina Jaitley, Fire your Make-up Artist Already

First off let me sat I have nothing against Celina Jaitley. She probably rescues kittens that have climbed too high up on trees right after she single-handedly replants forests and restores ecosystems to their forgotten glory. However, she is a repeat offender not only to good make-up but also to good taste. That is why I am nominating her for the "Lowlight of the Decade" award. Take a good look at the following picture.

How do you feel? Do you need to sit down, allow your soul to reenter you body because it was sucked out by the coloured contacts Celina wears to heighten her pulchritude? I felt just as empty when I looked at this picture of her for the first time. While you recover, let me rant about her make-up for just one tiny minute.

When did the make-up artist who is employed Dracula's drag-queen vampire nephew also become Celina's make-up artist? That is the only way to explain caked on the foundation that is twenty to thirty shades lighter than the rest of her body, and, rumour has it, is also seven shades lighter than the foundation Dracula's nephew wears.

Celina's face is also heavily contoured (just look at the stripes of darker colour placed on the sides of her nose without blending) and is suffering from the reverse raccoon effect. What do I mean by that? Her bronzer is so dark/obvious/unblended that it makes her under-eyes look extra pale.

How on earth could Celina's make-up artist let her leave her house looking like this? Sometimes I wonder if I should pretend to be an obsessive fan, tranquillize her, and then redo her make-up. Or do you think Dracula's nephew's make-up artist is also a vampire and would bite me? Either way I think the risk is worth it.

image taken from: http://www.celinajaitley.org

21 comments:

Saniya said...

Oh God Anu, let's do it, buy a tranquilizer gun, numb her n do her MU..God she looks absolutely hideous. yuck. I threw up a little when I saw the picture. Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew.

12:31 PM
30 days ago said...

Gosh, again, like with Bipasha, I couldnt take my eyes off the dress long enough to focus on the make up. When I did, I was thrilled at the ugliness. Celebrity ugliness makes plain ol' me look good you see. But enough about that. WHAT the fishizzle is she wearing??? What sort of a cheap ass excuse of a dress is that?! It seems to me that Indian actress models seem to think that the more they show, the classier it gets. Oh, and pair it up with a nice film-reel of fake diamonds, and, ok- I want to cry.

4:35 PM
Saniya said...

OMG 30 days ago I almost peed on myself reading ur comment. U r so right..her dress's fugliness was blinding me. and then came the make-up. lol

4:55 PM
30 days ago said...

haha fugliness! I'm going to use that word!

6:14 PM
Saniya said...

Haha:):) Anu where r uuuuuuu??? 30 days ago and i r having so much fun...:)

8:27 AM
Anu said...

Hey guys!
Sorry, I was away (doing research. I'm telling you I'll be old and still in school).. 30 days, i HATE her dress. Maybe she thinks squished boobs mean she doesn't have to smile? She never seems to crack a smile, just stares emptily.
Saniya, I really think we should go on a rampage, and tranquilize celebs who REFUSE to give in to good taste. Do they think this is sexy? Cute? Shockingly amazingly enticing? I don't know how to tell them the bad news if they really do think this.

9:31 AM

Saniya said...

yay anu..ur back...girll..i know i think that too..i swear school makes me wanna cry..lol..seriously pin them down..and potato sack them...hahah the old school way...lol..i dont know if they think they look cute or hot or whatever..i just know that celina is a repeat offender.. she just walks outta the house blindfolded..ugh ugh

2:41 PM
30 days ago said...

yeah two words come to mind
'deer' 'headlights'

or maybe 'cheapo' 'contacts'

8:40 PM
Anu said...

Ladies,
I know it seems like I hark on it, but i HATE how she goes on about her light eyes when there are pics where you can see the layer of colour on top and the brown of her eyes underneath. Not to mention that they look so fake! I do think she has some natural prettyness and I just want her to give me one chance to do her make-up. I would die a happy person if I could get rid of her too-light foundation and heavy, caked on everything! Man, I sound vicious. I promise I'm not

11:08 PM

[a} said...

Too much make-up looks ugly on anyone. Along with the contacts, it's like her face is hiding behind her cosmetics. :( She would be so pretty, too, without all that glob.

It's the make-up artist's job to understand that understated makeup enhances features..and overdone makeup just destroys natural beauty!!!

10:55 AM
lynn said...

I just came across your blog. Ive to tell you, you are sooo funny. I cant stop laughing reading some of the stuff. I definitely love your tips as well. I agree with you on Celina, she always looked like a corpse to me.

3:25 PM
Chic Mommy said...

The "too light for her skin" concealer was the first thing that jumped out at me. Her entire foundation is wrong and looks like a Halloween mask. She could have probably done a better job herself.

12:26 AM
Selina said...

this lady just looks so absolutely wrong! i don't understand, did she did preview her look in a mirror before going out in public?

12:17 PM
HiraRai said...

Hi Anu. I really love your blog.. i too love makeup.. and i agree with a lot of the things you said... my blog. was kind of like this.. but i never kept it up..lol. anyway.. look forward to reading more of your post.

2:56 PM
Anonymous said...

well you all can say whatever you like...shes beautiful and luks much better than aishwariya or any other actress...she mite look like a disaster sometimes but at the end of the day shes human just like us we all have our bad days.

9:50 AM
nazz said...

awwwwwww anu you're soo cute! i seriously laughed SO DAMN hard at this post, and because its actually true! yeah she does try to be whiter i think part of it is because the beauty-norm in india is to be light... (i guess)... umm just one question though? could u please tell me how you think she does her eye/kajal makeup like that? because although i know its alot i really like the way she rings her eyes with the kohl..any ideas? love u so much hun! :)thnx!!

8:51 PM
Anonymous said...

You people are JEALOUS! celina is already light skinend to begin with! she can wear any foundation she wants! she looks gorgeous!I also disagree with telling people what foundation/blush,eyeshadow,etc they should wear, its really tacky and rude.
These women that were posted look PERFECTLY FINE! take their photos around the globe and people will agree with me. Some people prefer to look pale/paler...look at dita von teese for instance, she stays clear from the sun to avoid darkening in an interview she told reporters that. Some people like to be darker and sun kissed with bronzer on top of that, its your personal preference. Its just jealousy that someone would point that out, who is anyone to tell someone theyre wearing a too light or too dark foundation, because there is no such thing. Nicole and Sam from pixiwoo(huge makeupartists in Britain) sometimes wear paler or darker foundation and it looks gorgeous! as long as people blend it to the neck its fine....some people prefer to look bright and radiant rather than dim and dark/dull. People who are already light can wear any foundation they want and not look ashen
if that's "too light" than the rest of the world wears LIGHTER! her concealer/foundation isnt light enough if anything! stop hating, she looks fine!
The only thing about foundations/powders/cocealer is you have to blend! as with anything! but these comments of jealousy are from dark skinned females who wish they were light toned! you are nothing but jealous hideous cyber bullies! leave her alone

10:10 PM
Anonymous said...

I saw Celina when she won the Miss Calcutta crown and stepped into the limelight. Then I sat next to her on a flight from New York, and nipped out of the plane in Delhi to smoke a cigarette. She is very very light skinned and has very light eyes. She was without make-up and looked amazing. These stars cannot have perfect face on every moment of their lives. Give her a break. None of you look your best always either.

3:06 AM
Anonymous said...

Got a pic of her w/out her blue lenses: http://www.bollygraph.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/celina-jaitley-hot-photos.jpg

8:53 PM
Anonymous said...

Hey...who said indian female celeb are beautiful anywayzzzz......they all are plastic (so called beauties without Brainz)...just look at them without make up n u can never guess who they really are. u want to see real beauty travel to pakistan or turkey then u will know what REAL & not cosmetic beauty is...even common indian girls are prettier then these jALLiwood heroines...gawd..true they think the more cheaper bolder n nanga they get the more famous they will be (which is true)..e.g...malaika/kareena/bipasha/jaitley/vidya
http://bollywood-makeup.blogspot.com/

FRZ

10:32 AM
Anonymous said...

from FRZ to Anonymous who think she looks FINE....GET YOUR EYE SIGHT Checked or get a stylist who can put some senses in your numb nut empty COCONUT!..as I said earlier even common indian girls look prettier then JaaLLLiwood females.

10:36 AM

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